How I “Raped” my Man

Let me preface my story by saying, I have met a wonderful man who is Dominant by nature and practice.  I have not submitted to him yet. We’ve discussed it and decided to devlop our own dynamic, see where it leads, and to gain deeper trust and understanding of one another.  Now, with that said….I don’t have to follow certain protocols unless it’s predetermined Play….time to take advantage of it. (Smiles and giggles)

It was decided I would go over to his house last night after work.  I was so excited to see him, to have him inside me…I get there, let myself in, as he is sound asleep!!! It’s 5 o’clock…damn him for sleeping…I wanted him…what is a girl to do??

He was sleeping so peacefully with his hands close together…and there they were, the cuffs he used on me a few nights before.  Slowly I clasped them around his wrists.  Then I snuck my body under the covers and gently moved his cock so it was peering at me from his boxers.  Paused for a bit, his breathing was still deep and rythmic…he was still asleep!  I then decided to take him in my mouth, he grew inside me almost instantly.  I then nugged him on his back so I could straddle him perfectly.  His eyes closed, slight smile….he’s awake I thought…but no movement from him.  I slowly placed his length inside me.  I begin to move my hips, and use his cock to my pleasure.  The more I rode him, the deeper he plunged inside me.  I had my way with him, used his dick to satisfy my needs.  When I was done, I collapsed on his chest, kissed his lips and said hello.  Now he speaks…”you just raped me, there will be punishment for that.”
I was so thrilled with myself…and eager to feel his punishment that he has in mind for me.  I removed his cuffs and before I could get off of him, he cuffed my wrists infornt of me.  Them with one motion he thrust me off of him onto my stomach, knees bent.  He fucked me hard from behind.  He asked me not to  cum (more of a command really) and I obliged.   After he was satisfied, I cleaned him up with my mouth and then he went into the kitchen to cook.
Food smelled wonderously.  We sat down and he began to eat.  I was still cuffed, unable to eat.  I politely asked him to remove them and he simply laughed and said “no”.  When he was done, he removed my restraints and I finally wat the delicious meal he had prepared. I thought to myself, that punishment wasn’t so bad.  As I joined him on the couch he whispered “I know what you’re thinking, that wasn’t your punishment, that was simply for my amusement. You deserve so much more for raping me.”  I could see dark ideas brewing behind his smirk.  Damn….what does he have in store for me.
I waited all night, but nothing. No punishment the remainder of the evening ….I am really going to suffer soon….can’t wait!!!

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Amuzing Story of Concern

Its amazing that a little change on Fetlife can yield an amuzing situation.
I recently changed my profile status on my kink account to “in a relationship.” Not because I am in one, but ever since I recently uploaded a sexy picture I have been innovated with “please fuck me” emails.  A friend, a lovely submissive she is, messaged me out of concern.  Evidentally a friend of hers had recognized my recent pic of being a home of a Dom she had played with some time ago.  They were both worried that “my relationship” was with him.  Evidentally this friend of a friend felt “rushed” after playing with said Dom and she felt he was in it to just get laid. I ofcourse asked if the friend enjoyed herself during play…Ofcourse the answer was yes.  To this I chuckled, in 14 days we have gotten together 12 times, sometimes play, other times “cuddles”. Cuddles is his term for vanilla inspired sex.

Why does this matter?  Well first, it matters because I realized just how kind and caring my friend is.  She was simply looking out for me.  Second, because I realized that this Dom may be more than just a playmate.  He has never “rushed me”, in fact he can’t get enough of me.  Third, because I wanted him to know, someone felt rushed…he would not have wanted to give that impression…or so I thought. Evidently per the Dom, she was hot but “lacked intelligence” and sadly it got to where he just couldn’t hear her voice anymore without slapping her.  This led the way to a conversation in what I could do to get him to slap me… he doesn’t like it when someone talks about a subject she has no knowledge on, Never! Expect to see his phone, especially after playing one time oh and this is funny…she kept trying to get him to eat chocolate!! He is Vegan and very health conscious. I
took mental  notes for future when I’m craving pain 😉  maybe I will bring over chocolate cupcakes with hopes of him making me eat them all….Yum!!

Change

I do not react well to change that is forced upon me.  I prefer to create the change in my life, I like to be in control in my Vanilla life.  My teenage son has made a decision that is forcing change upon me.  I am struggling.
For more than three years now, I have been the sole constant parent in his life.  He and his father have struggled with any sort of relationship.  At times my son would see his dad on the weekends, at times they would go months without speaking.  I have always encouraged my son to reach out to his dad, to accept his dad for the way he is.  I believe kids should have the love and bond with both parents.
Last weekend my son went to his dad’s house.  He decided to stay all week and now has decided he wants to live with his dad and the new wife permanently.  I don’t want to let him.  I want to keep him close, sheltered from his father.  My ex-husband is very judgemental, controlling, depressed, and an alcoholic.  However, the new wife does seem to balance him out from what I have learned.  However, I am fearful, my son will be crushed by his father once again as he has in the past.  I don’t want to see him hurt. 
All of my heart says to prevent this from happening.  However, it is not my decision.  My son is older, he has good decision making skills and most of all….he craves a relationship with his dad.  Who am I to prevent that?
I will support my son on the surface, although it is killing me inside.  I will still see him some, every other weekend I hope. 
I am struggling with the change…not seeing my son every morning, day, and night.  I will miss him, however, I am proud of him for knowing what he wants and making the effort to get it.

Change….it is so hard on me.

A path to more discovery

I have continued to explore my needs, wants, and desires.  The Dom I recently have met has been a large factor in this.  For the first time in years, I am able to escape my worries and release control to another.  He did ask me to submit, and unfortunately I do not feel I can at this time, as I feel I could not be the submissive he would deserve or the kind I would want to be.  We have decided to devlop our vanilla relationship with occasional play.
However, I am finding myself silently submitting to him even when we are in vanilla mode.  I will continue to take things slow and make sure this is a good match for myself and him.   I am fortunate he respects and accepts this.  He may continue to look for a submissive deserving of him, and if he chooses this I wish him the best luck in finding her.  Perhaps in time I can become the sub I want to be and he needs. 
For now, I am having a fantastic time re-visitng my submissive side.

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