What happens when there is lack of communication? DRAMA!!
I don’t like drama. I have two teenage children, they bring enough drama into my world. Please do not invite me into your life if you are uncertain of me being a part of it.
If you do not communicate your insecurities, hesitations, or preferences I will not know what they are. If I know what you are feeling, I will respect them and act appropriately. Do not tell me one thing when you want something else.
Ariel, the nesting female in the relationship recently went onto Fetlife (If you are unsure of the site, Google it….wonderful site!) attacking me for making her feel angry and causing stress in the relationship she has with Arthur. Just hours before she and I had a conversation regarding the three of us, not once did she mention this anger. She gave no indication she was upset, she seemed happy and was asking about a future event. I felt blindsided and attacked.
I can understand her feeling like she needs more attention from Arthur. I have been in her shoes and know how jealousy can creep up. However, I have always managed to work my feelings out privately with those concerned and get back to having compersion. For me, jealousy is rare and fleeting. I do not let it fester.
After reading her first post I asked both what was going on. She explained they did not have sex at all last week, and she needed more attention. He shared that she felt neglected and he needed to pay more attention to her. My response was that I needed to take a step back if I am causing stress on their relationship. She never responded. He said it was all his fault for neglecting her and she wanted us to continue seeing each other, he just needed to give her more attention. Yes, they are not on the same page. Less than and hour later she posts more attacks and rants, this time about Arthur and myself.
This is too much drama for me, however, in the short months I have known them, I grown to adore Arthur. I am in a quandary of what to do.
I am not saying I have no blame, and feel all of us may have contributed to this situation. However, every step of the way, I’ve ask how she is doing, reclarified boundaries, and have made every effort in respecting their existing bond. I am frustrated with them for not communicating better with me and eachother.
You may be asking what event led up to this. The best I can gather is he is upset because in a span of just a week I spent one evening with him, 3 hours and no sex. A few days later the three of us went to a kink party and he performed a flogging scene with me. The three of us discussed this prior she encouraged it. Him and I did have sex that evening at her urging. She stated she was tired and went to sleep in their spare bed. (I could be wrong, there could be more but this is my best guess based in her rants)
At this point I do not feel she will be able to accept him giving another attention in her presence. I am frustrated at her jealousy, lack of communication, and yes for not considering my feelings. Not once since her feelings have been made know, has either one asked me how I was feeling. I realize that is selfish, however, I am a part of this also, I have feelings as well. I am not upset because of her feelings I am upset because she chose to rant to the world instead of discussing them with me first.
I am not talking to them about this yet as they need to work their issues out and I need to re-evaluate their role in my life. I understand this is a double standard, but not sure it even matters what I am feeling at this point.
Sorry for the rant!! Thanks for reading. Opi8always welcome.
Don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect!